Black outs

*Tut, Tut, Tut*
Wipes arm across forehead..
Pause. 
Turns. Smiles. Shakes Head 
Pause. 
Turns back again. 
Steps forward.. 
Hi Kittens. nods. I've missed you... Smiles 

I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday.

Let's get into it shall we? So, last week I only posted once or twice I think, sorry I can't remember. Any who, I need to tell you that it wasn't because I didn't want to write or talk to you, please don't take it that way. I truly didn't forget about you guys its just that I spent this time wrapped around the most amazing mouth orgasms of my life I just didn't know what to do with myself.

Yes you heard me correctly. I HAD THE MOST AMAZING MOUTH ORGASMS OF MY LIFE! There is that any clearer for you? No? Let me explain..

After watching a commercial one late evening about this Greek Yogurt that has everyone's panties in a bunch, I decided to see what the fuss was all about. I mean the people in the commercial looked like they were having an orgasm all over the damn TV! I wanted to OOhh and MMM and a little AHHH without having to depend on a man to make me say those things or my hand for that matter. So I got my ass out of bed, ventured out to 24 hour grocery and found that the yogurt isle was ran-sacked! Luckily for me the stars aligned and there were a few flavors left over for me to try. I quickly shoved them in my basket picked up a few of my other favorites and shimmed my ass outta there.

Upon arriving home around 1 AM, I stocked my fridge and was all giddy for the next day trial of these Orgasmic Yogurts. Of course I couldn't wait that long they were calling out to me, plus I saw the same damn commercial for them two more times while trying to sleep. So I gave in and decided to break my rule of never eating after 7 PM. Oh you think I look this good by eating food all night long? I wish it were the case but it's not.

I tried the strawberry flavor first because how the hell could you fuck up strawberry flavored yogurt? They didn't.

I was more than pleased with the yogurt. So pleased in fact that I was MMM-ing and Ohh-ing myself. I found myself inhaling the yogurt and scrapping around the edges just to get the last of it. Hell I even dipped my finger in there to get all of it, that's how creamy and delicious it tasted. God do I love creamy and delicious things.

I have been having orgasms daily ever since. That is why I haven't posted because every time I go to sit down to post I think of the delicious yogurt just sitting in my fridge. I get up from the computer go to the kitchen open the fridge and everything is blank after that. I wake up on the floor of my kitchen in a cold sweat wondering where the last 20 minutes went. I look over to my right there's an empty yogurt, I look over to my left there's a spoon and I look down at myself and I am FUCKING NAKED! I seriously don't know how this fucking yogurt does it! Magical...