Somethings wrong here..

So sorry kittens. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for not updating in a long while.
*Insert pouty yet sad face*

I hope you can forgive me ..
*Smiles*

So I've realized that I mostly rant about sex. Yes I've said the three letter word: S.E.X.

Most importantly I talk about sex when it pertains to things that one would never think of the word sex.

Take for instance how I orgasm over greek yogurt, believe you me I know tons of people who don't think greek yogurt is sexy, lucky for me I do. Other case in point would be my work out methods. I mean who looks at an abe machine and think "Orgasm here I come!" That would be me only because it just happened suddenly out of the blue. Let me tell you I am seriously considering buying one when I get back home so I don't ever have to go a day without an orgasm.

The only thing I have not mentioned is having an orgasm brought on by another person. Weird no?

Maybe I'm just one of those people who finds joy in the little things. I mean life is too short not to have an orgasm over greek yogurt and work out equipment right? Exactemente!

But I think I am ready for some human contact and some sweatiness ;) I promise kittens I will get it soon and I also promise to divulge every single detail good or bad.

until then... where's that yogurt

Two weeks and counting

Inhales ... Scratches head

Smiles

Hi loves..


How are you? Good I hope.


So lets get into it shall we?


Can I just simply ask where the hell are all the damn good men?

I've been down in sunny Florida for about two weeks now and still have yet to meet a guy that keeps me interested. Interested enough to bang the fuck out of, you know that ab machine can relieve me so much.

My joints are starting to get tight from the lack of a marathon of a great fuck.

Seriously I look around and most of the people down here are older with younger spouses. Mainly I am talking about the gold diggers.

I mean come on I'm a good looking 20 something year old who just wants to get laid.

Last weekend I went out with some friends to just get some drinks, dance a little and maybe just maybe take some lucky guy home. Needless to say all the guys I saw out where all about the girls with the fake boobies and falling all over the place. Really? Some where along the line it becomes not cute to be drunk to the point your throwing off your shoes and still falling over people spilling their drinks.

Also all the guys that were out didn't really make me go "Oh I need to fuck that guy" ... trust me

Maybe it was just that night or maybe it was just where I was at but I am not the only one who says the same thing. My friends that live here say that they cannot find someone who they are attracted to sexually so they just settle for some other joe shmo just to get laid.


Now I am not saying I am picky but hell the guys that I have been dating have all been average guys. Everyone tells me I pick these guys who are 5s and 6s instead of 9s or 10s. I mean don't get me wrong I have had hot guys come up to me and try, but I find that they lack somethings. For instance I love myself a funny guy, someone who can make me laugh and I feel like the hotter guys don't try. They just feel like they are entitled to just walk up say a few things and BAM you fuck them. Hell no honey you need to atleast try to make nice with me and not keep looking at every hot piece of ass that walks by.

So we shall see what happens the next time I give it ago. Until then I guess the ab machine at the gym will be my go to guy for now.

Who knew

*Pants*

Smiles , sips water, sighs..

Hi Loves *waves*

I just got in from a glorious morning at the gym. I am doing some soul searching while I am down here and one of the things on my list was to get a better body. I mean its not like I am this fat thing I'm a nice size four but I don't like that some things hang over when I sit down in the belly area. So I am trying to make it a nice tight stomach and well I want my legs to be more toned.

Anywho enough of this explaining why I am working out. I guess the simple answer is I want to look my best and a woman needs to maintain her appearance.

I want to tell you another reason why I have been hitting the gym so often.

..cause I know your all at the edge of your seat to figure out why I go to the gym other than getting fit

ORGASMS! Yup you heard me

There is this abs machine at the gym that I always end my time at the gym with and it always leaves a smile on my face!

Let me explain, after I'm all good and sweaty from an hour of spinning class or just running on the treadmill I go over to wait for this abs machine. It has a seat on it and you just pull the handles down towards your stomach. Because I am so sweaty I can't help but move my lower body forward to meet with my upper body after I pull those handles down. At the same time I'm breathing heavy and some where along the way I'm exercising my cleagle muscles and BAM I'm feeling my clit move along my undies. I can feel a wonderful sensation start to come over my body, I get goose pimples and I know that any last motion of the pulling, lifting, rocking, flexing and breathing I could be brought over to an awesome mini Orgasm.

It's seriously amazing because I think of myself as a very sexual being. Since I've been down here I haven't really gone out to find that connection because I wanted this to be about relaxing and getting myself on track. So having this machine at the gym with no strings attached and I can visit or go as many times as I want is amazingly convient for me. Also its a plus that it's not battery operated and its sort of exhibitionist of me because its in front of people. The thing about the gym is that everyone has their headphones in and they're in this little world of getting fit themselves.

Anyways I feel relaxed I get a little work out in and I get a happy ending , we all win in this one.

Hope you are all having as much fun as I am :)

I've done it

I quit my job last week and decided to book the first flight out to beautiful Florida. I know I know how could I just pick up and leave like that? Well like I said all my bases were covered.

I have a friend who lives down here that I am just crashing with for the time being. I also have my cousin who is renting out my place until he has to go back to school in the fall. So really all I need to do is just find a job down here for the summer and let the festivities begin!

It's okay loves, I am not crazy in the bad way just in a good way.

I was tired of the every day mundane B.S. and I figured why not do it some place that parties till 4 or 5 AM and be able to go to the beach on a whim. So here I am for a summer of fun and meeting new people. The man I was seeing before I left didn't like it very much but to hell with it this is my life.

I arrived here earlier this week and have been trying to find myself a job. Hell I don't care too much what it is I just need to start making myself some money. I mean I have money saved up but this isn't about a summer of going through my life's savings.

I have always wanted to pick up and live some where for a while just to shake things up. So here I am and I promise I will update more often about whats going on and who I'm doing you know all the important stuff.

I send all my love to you kittens from sunny Florida

*MWAH*

Is it just me or?

Does Michelle Obama look like a gremlin?

 

I've added a photo my loves to see if its just me or if what I am seeing is actually true. I know, I know she's the first lady but hell if I am being truly honest here she looks like a fucking gremlin! 

Could you imagine the gremlins running the U.S. Oh wait they are that's what we call the Government! 

Sometimes I really wish I lived in the city, I really do. Gas prices are through the roof up to over a dollar more than what they were last year. How ridiculous is that?

*Tut. Tut.* Government, thanks for screwing me out of my money some more. 

Bad enough I need to pay taxes out my asshole now you want me to give up my yogurt money too? 

Ugh how am I to have a good fucking time with my life if you are always taking my hard earned money? 

Sometimes I feel like a fucking hooker and the government is my pimp. If I don't pay my dues I get ruffed up a bit as a warning (debt). If I don't do as they say well I get a one on one visitation with the henchmen (police man!). If I should stop hooking all together or refuse to pay up anymore of my hard earned dick sucking money then it's curtains for me (some crazy new disease plagues the earth and millions of people die.) 

Can't you just let me live my life in peace? Can't you just allow me to enjoy my orgasmic yogurt without having to rob me at the gas station? 

Seriously get that gremlin out of my face, she's fucking scary, I'm afraid she'll eat me and not in the way I want to be eaten. 

I need a damn drink and a cig, I'm seriously going through withdraw  over here and it's not good, not good at all.

Black outs

*Tut, Tut, Tut*
Wipes arm across forehead..
Pause. 
Turns. Smiles. Shakes Head 
Pause. 
Turns back again. 
Steps forward.. 
Hi Kittens. nods. I've missed you... Smiles 

I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday.

Let's get into it shall we? So, last week I only posted once or twice I think, sorry I can't remember. Any who, I need to tell you that it wasn't because I didn't want to write or talk to you, please don't take it that way. I truly didn't forget about you guys its just that I spent this time wrapped around the most amazing mouth orgasms of my life I just didn't know what to do with myself.

Yes you heard me correctly. I HAD THE MOST AMAZING MOUTH ORGASMS OF MY LIFE! There is that any clearer for you? No? Let me explain..

After watching a commercial one late evening about this Greek Yogurt that has everyone's panties in a bunch, I decided to see what the fuss was all about. I mean the people in the commercial looked like they were having an orgasm all over the damn TV! I wanted to OOhh and MMM and a little AHHH without having to depend on a man to make me say those things or my hand for that matter. So I got my ass out of bed, ventured out to 24 hour grocery and found that the yogurt isle was ran-sacked! Luckily for me the stars aligned and there were a few flavors left over for me to try. I quickly shoved them in my basket picked up a few of my other favorites and shimmed my ass outta there.

Upon arriving home around 1 AM, I stocked my fridge and was all giddy for the next day trial of these Orgasmic Yogurts. Of course I couldn't wait that long they were calling out to me, plus I saw the same damn commercial for them two more times while trying to sleep. So I gave in and decided to break my rule of never eating after 7 PM. Oh you think I look this good by eating food all night long? I wish it were the case but it's not.

I tried the strawberry flavor first because how the hell could you fuck up strawberry flavored yogurt? They didn't.

I was more than pleased with the yogurt. So pleased in fact that I was MMM-ing and Ohh-ing myself. I found myself inhaling the yogurt and scrapping around the edges just to get the last of it. Hell I even dipped my finger in there to get all of it, that's how creamy and delicious it tasted. God do I love creamy and delicious things.

I have been having orgasms daily ever since. That is why I haven't posted because every time I go to sit down to post I think of the delicious yogurt just sitting in my fridge. I get up from the computer go to the kitchen open the fridge and everything is blank after that. I wake up on the floor of my kitchen in a cold sweat wondering where the last 20 minutes went. I look over to my right there's an empty yogurt, I look over to my left there's a spoon and I look down at myself and I am FUCKING NAKED! I seriously don't know how this fucking yogurt does it! Magical...

Topic

Hello my loves
*smiles*
I can't believe it's Thursday already, my , my ,my has this week flown by or what?
*nods*

So I have a topic that I would like to share or actually start a debate about because I know the opposite sex will have  their opinions.

As I was downloading some music from the inter-webs I came across a site titled "The Unfortunate Truth About Women"

I was perplexed and curious all at the same time. Wondering to myself what is it about my sex I don't even know that's soooo unfortunate?

If you went to the site it's a comic about a couple in bed. While the man is semi-sleeping the woman starts to tell him how sweet he is and all these nice things. Then the comic takes a turn by the woman saying she is going to leave the guy for a "manipulative bad-boy" (term they used) for no apparent reason.

Obviously this comic was drawn by a guy who was hurt by a woman who left him for someone he dubbed a jerk. Now I understand freedom to express one self and all that B.S. Let me tell you something Mister Comic man that fucking works two ways on this street!

I am going to make this general but I will let you know I am all for the woman's side, come now I have to be bias!

Okay so I believe people in general do not leave someone for no apparent reason. There is always a fucking reason! 

Here are some common reasons

1. You're bad in bed and I have no way of telling you without hurting your feelings so I'll just say its me and not you. 
2. You're fucking dirt cheap when it comes to everything and you don't even have a job you low life!
3. You cheated on me, fuck off
4. I really wanted those Cookies and you wouldn't get them for but lucky for me Harry did. 
5. You're family freaks me the fuck out and I really don't want to play tummy sticks with your cousin
6. I just saw what you're (mom/dad) looked like and if that's you at that age Hell to No, I'm outtie! 
7. You've gained a lot from this relationship and I have gained nothing. Sorry but your weight is crushing my ass during sex. 
8. You're more of an alcoholic than I am and sorry but I can't be with someone who drinks all my AL!  
9. I like kinky things in the bedroom and you are just too timid.
10. Uh we were never dating I'm gay! Remember!? 

I mean all those reasons are reason enough to break it off with someone. Just because your nice, giving, awesome and everyone loves you doesn't mean that the person you are dating is going to love you back. There are many things that people do to make someone want to break up with them. They are called "deal breakers" or so that's what they were called the last time I heard.

Now you can't expect someone to stay in a relationship because they are nice, that's what you call a fucking friend. Or that's what you call that old man you see getting on the bus every morning with a smile on his face. Nice is not what you call someone you want ravage in the sack.

Now I have known some women to stay in a relationship because the person is "nice or sweet." The thing is they always followed it up with a but and once that comes out you know they don't really want to be in the relationship. Listen people like what they like and sometimes what's important in relationship to one person may not be important to the other. That's why in relationships people need to fucking open their mouths within the first two weeks of dating to let the other person know what you dub important.

I think Sex should definitely be on the top of that list, if you aren't communicating well in the bedroom than I'm sorry to say that relationship won't last. Unless you're ass is richer than Oprah or you're allowed to have side biddies.

Also I think attention is another key importance in a relationship. Be attentive to what your partner wants and needs from you, vice versa, it's a two way street!

Lastly I believe you need to have a separate life as well. Like it's okay to have things together but I believe in a healthy relationship its good to keep some things separate. Like girls night should not include your sweetie even if all his man friends canceled on him. Like shopping don't take him out shopping girls because he hates that shit unless you are walking into a titty bar, game store, car place or sports shop. That's the only way he'll be interested in "shopping."

Do you concur?