Sometimes

Sometimes I truly don't know where this is going, this life I lead. Other times I am so determined to make it go my way no matter how many obstacles stand in my way. I put my mean face on and get down to business. But after so many let downs (obstacles) I always question myself, question where I should be and where I could be. I know we all have self doubts about ourselves at some point or another but I assure you I have been doubting myself for well over two years now.

I don't know weather to cry or exhale ..
I don't know if I should pace back and forth or just sit still..
Do I hide or do I go out dying in the sun...

Sometimes I just wish life could be what you write it out to be, ya know? Like the movie INK HEART where if you read certain parts of a book it becomes reality, well this version would be writing something out to be true. Only when I think about it, that could be bad if everyone were having a jolly ol time writing out their lives, no one would be special. I could just see it now a world full of rich divas with fake tatas all thinking they rightfully should be where they are. Oh, not to mention all the criminals who would just write themselves out of jail to become rich. Yeah that would be bad wouldn't it? Maybe just let me have this uh talent if you want to call it that. I promise I won't tell anyone, mum's the word over here.

Sadly as much as I get down on my knees and beg for this talent it will never come so I always have to face reality. But really what is the fun in that? Why do I need to face reality? Why can't I just create my own little bubble of reality and the rest of the world just leave me be?

Because life's a Bitch that's why! Fucking-A!